i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
