WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
