my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
