i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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