yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
