Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize