it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
