it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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