I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
