he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This is my gift to your gina
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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