So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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