this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
