Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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