Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
