Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
