Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
