I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My pussy is not your playground.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
