talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize