so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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