those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
