my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize