I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
