hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
