it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
