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quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
