I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
