I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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