So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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