you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
