Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
