one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
