If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
