Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize