Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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