did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The uberlube is also flammable
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
