i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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