just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
