just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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