my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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