I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
