at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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