I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
