So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
And the cops told us we were all naked.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
