Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
