we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
