I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
