her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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