just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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