The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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