Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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