seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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