he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
