YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
