I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
