Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
