just tell him i said nine months
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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