I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
