It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
