I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
