I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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