If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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