i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
