After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
