we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize