somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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