You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Is it penis luge time yet?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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