I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
