Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
