no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
